The way we connect

I have plenty of people in my life who I can say I have truly connected with. I've been a part of their memories and they have been a part of mine. Most of those memories were happy memories, when we would laugh to the extent that we would run out of breath, get excited and hug the life out of each other, do something special together and wish for the world to stop that time or just simply do a notorious act and grin to ourselves.

There was a connection in all those moments that I felt with the other person who is mostly a friend. But the depth that I feel connecting with a person through pain, grief, and sadness feels much more closer to my heart than when done otherwise. It is not to say that we should dwell in sadness or something of that sort. It was just an observation I recently made and when I thought about it in retrospect it made some good sense to me.

So now when I recall how some of my friends became so close to me, I also recall the one memory of me being sad or them and we helping each other to come out of it.

Perhaps this is the reason why group therapy does wonders for some people or even people in disturbed zones because connecting through the similar experiences acts as a consolation for the heart that one is not alone in it and there are others going through the same thing more or less.

Oh well, thats about it.

Does it Ever Stop Hurting?

Last Friday evening after crying for hours thinking about some sad and bad memories of life, I asked this question my sister and my best friend who was online to cheer me up;

''Does it ever stop hurting?'' - It is a question not just about one particular thing, its like sometimes for unknown reasons all the bad things that may have ever happened occur to you and in that moment you cannot help but just wonder. When?

It can be a friend who deserted you at the time of need, somebody you love wholeheartedly and they just were with you for their selfish reasons, some glare, a stare, a bitter comment and there's this thing about people - not just people actually : let me be specific - The thing about Bad People. When you open up to them well you just do a BIG mistake, they know what exactly to say to prick the memory which hurts you the most.

There are parts of each one of us in our lives that we wish we could the erase the memory of from our mind. Because they hurt, a lot. I have realized what really matters at the end of the day is that you learn and lesson and be careful next time. Not get hurt by the same thorn again. Yet, as human beings we have a tendency to run behind the things and people that hurt us, with few people consciously and with some subconsciously. Don't believe me?
I am sure there's one person in everyone's life who has hurt them yet they want to get past that hurt and have the old relation with that person back again because they value the person more than their own pain. And hey, I am not judging anyone here. Whatever works for anyone. Although, sometimes we should be careful because the another thing with human beings is that they can forgive others and their mistakes easily but man! do they have tough time forgiving their own selves and their own mistakes.

Anyhow, Did my friend answer my question? Yes, she did. It was realistic, it wasn't flowery that one day it will or with time it will. Because I'll tell you one thing and I can vouch for it, the theory of time heals everything does not work in cases where your heart was left in pain. It is what it is. The pain is veiled by the business of life, by the new people that walk in it but once there's a moment of loneliness the wind of past memories remove that veil and then you feel like your back to square one.

My friend she told me more or less something like this - ''It is not going to stop hurting until we are in Jannah, for some time in your life you will try to ignore it and will cover it up. But from time-to-time something will trigger the hurt again and the gate will be open for every bad memory of your life to cause you pain for that period of time. You ignore it again and move on''

I cried for hours chatting to her. And you know how righteous company and friends are given such a high value in Islam? I couldn't agree more to it. This friend of mine and even my sister (in islam) has always given me the advice that I won't really get from anyone else. She's been there for me all along, so she suggested that I stop chatting with her for sometime, pray my Isha prayer and get back to her. Then She suggested that I cry my heart out in front of Allah swt and talk to him in sujood about everything that bothers me. Basically, just pour my heart out.

I just did that, and I think I had the best salah of my life that night. The tranquility followed by that prayer was just unbeatable, explainable.

Indeed it is true when Allah swt says in the Quran “When My servants ask thee concerning Me, I am indeed close (to them), I respond to the prayer of every supplicant when he calleth on Me”. (Al-Baqarah: 186).

Studying Tips?

Hello People
So I am not quite sure as to how many of you awesome people out there are currently studying. I stopped studying about 3 years back after I started working but for godknowswhat reason I decided to give a shot at some accountancy exams and to be able to enter that course I need to clear a test. And to clear that test I need to study which I find highly difficult =/

So I would like to ask you guys if you can please put in the comment box any tips or suggestions on how to manage studying and working. within less than 2 months I have that test coming up, I have 4 thick books to study from and I am just too lazy to do it once I am back from work around 6-ish in the evening. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH

Repentance

Allah doesn't need you, It is You who needs Him,

For your every single want, desire need or whim.

Your obedience doesn't make him strong nor does your disobedience make him weak,

You were created from a despised water, he gave you every ability even the one to speak.

You think He is merciful so why not persist doing a sin?

You give justifications, excuses, and make it all spin.

No, it is not okay; even minor sin becomes major some day

He is Al Muheet where are you going to run away?

Your sins bring upon you the pain,sadness and grief

Sometimes makes it so hard that you can barely breathe

You ignore these feelings and attribute it to stress

Forgetting that In His Remembrance Do hearts find rest.

So you turn on some music, search for some videos,

Thinking that a singer knows you more than Allah knows

He is your creator yet you conveniently forget,

Try opening the quran once, when you're upset.

This world is nothing, souls leave bodies every hour

Nothing in this world can stop it, No person or power

Except by Allah's will , His command and decree

Death is going to chase you wherever you may be.

Repentance is hard and ignorance brings you ease

Now is the time, to bring your soul some peace

Not when you are dying and the words don't come out

You knew the purpose of your life, what it was about

Yet, you let the days, weeks, and years pass by,

Thinking to yourself one day I'll repent and cry

How would you face Allah, The Most High?

You would beg him for just one more try..

One more chance to go back and mend your ways,

To stop sinning away your years,weeks even days

To say that one prayer, to do that one good deed

To praise Allah for every met and unmet need

But your request will not be accepted,

Foolishly, You expect the unexpected.

You forgot that Jannah does not come at easy price,

People have sacrificed for it, their wealth and life

They changed, left their old lifestyles due to His fear,

Not for once did they forget that He is The Most Near

As long as your breathing, you know that its not too late

Now is the moment, The One Chance, Don't Wait!

When The Red Light Stopped Flashing

If you are living in the Gulf, Certain parts of Europe and Even India and If you own a BlackBerry then you must have encountered a problem with your device. It was a system problem from the manufacturers and I got assured that today it has been resolved.

The thing that I noticed the most in these 3 days are the reactions of the people on this seemingly small issue. Living in UAE, BlackBerry is almost like a basic necessity and a wonderful tool to be in constant touch with the loved ones excluding the broadcasts in a language that you cannot even understand :P (well that tends to happen if you have arab friends and you have no idea about arabic)

I was always an iPhone person and just got myself a BlackBerry for the heck of it because my friends made it look like its the easiest way to be in touch and It was, Actually. But having said that, it is a curse as well as a blessing to have this device. Blessing because of easily accessible messenger and a curse because it is quite addictive and the red light that flashes every time there's an unread email, notification, sms, or a bbm message is QUITE annoying. Yet, I was surprised when I missed that flashing light for the past 3 days.

Talking to a bunch of friends over lunch the very next day of the problem I was amused at myself and at them, the level to which we have allowed technology to affect our lives. Both my friends attend classes after work in evening and my friend tells me ''O my god, it was sooo annoying I could ACTUALLY focus on the lecture and I understood each and every thing''

Another one chimes in the similar experience ''Throughout the class I opened my BlackBerry and replaced the battery like 20-30 times'' .. And I am no exception even I tried to remove the sim card and put it back and restart my phone like 5 times. On the other hand, Some people ended up spending more time with their families catching up with 'Actual conversations' instead of a conversation where a person constantly checks on their phone while talking to someone else. I personally find it very annoying and try my best not to do it.

And Subhanallah, It also made me wonder about what kind of an impact would it make on the lives of muslims if they opened and checked Quran at least half the times they check their BlackBerries. I know it sounds like a buzz kill. I also know that blackberry has that app but somehow even if we have it on our BB, it is rarely opened unlike the BBM.

Those are just my reflections and thoughts... feel free to comment or to give some input

VOTE FOR BRASS CRESCENT AWARDS

The Eight Brass Crescent Awards nominations are out over here http://www.brasscrescent.org/

I would request all of my 36 awesome people and the readers to take a minute of your time and go and vote for 3 blogs in any cateogory ;

1. Dear Little Auntie *- This is a Q&A blog with a dash of humor and sincere advice in it. I am sure just like my life the words of these aunties have touched many. If you need to check it for yourself then you can go here http://www.dearlittleauntie.blogspot.com/ for some good light-hearted advice on anything and EVERY thing! :P

* I love them so make sure to vote for them!

2. I Got It Covered - Just like blog above, IGIC is an online community of hijabis from around the world and this blog is run by a bunch of REALLY talented sisters except me :P so just click on the link and do some search http://www.igotitcovered.org/

3. Habibi Halaqas - This is a blog that has many feathers on their hat. They have articles, videos, audios, anything you name it, they have it. Also, they have Exclusive Online Webinars by some of the Best Shaykhs EVER and You can attend them too - Its all for free. Visit them on http://www.habibihalaqas.org/

WHY - Now, I know somehow many of us would end up procrastinating it or even wondering about why we should take the effort and vote after all? So for some of us, I'd like to remind that we always talk about dawah and about spreading Islam and helping the muslim nation but we mostly run out of time or the resources to do it. These people here they are just doing that and the least we can do for them is vote for them and encourage them so that they know that their efforts are recognized. Of course, it is all for the sake of Allah swt but what about our courtesy?

And feel free to vote for the other blogs that you like and the ones I haven't mentioned I am sure they all do a pretty amazing job.

Ps - Remember you have to confirm your vote via the email you would recieve after selecting your vote.

If it was upto me I would vote for the blogs like about 1000 times but sadly they do the email verification and I don't have 1000 email accounts :P

Ar Rahmaan; Ar Raheem - Part 3

Bismillah and Salamalaykum!

In the last post we were pondering upon the special kind of Mercy of Allah Ar Rahman and Ar Raheem. In this post I will write about the 9 ways of obtaining that special mercy.

Remember , It is not random people who are blessed with Allah's special rahma rather we have to take some steps to obtain it. We may have to fight a little with our nafs, beat shaitan and his whispers but as a result of all this striving when you taste the sweetness of emaan you'd look back at your struggle and be like ''Man! It was totally worth it'' and I can assure you will.

1) Ihsan - Allah SWT says in the Quran in Surah 'Araf, verse 56

And do not do mischief on the earth, after it has been set in order, and invoke Him with fear and hope; Surely, Allah's Mercy is (ever) near unto the (muhsinoon)good-doers.

Generally the world Muhsinoon is translated as good doers but the meaning of that word is much deeper. 'Muhsin' (good doer) comes from 'Ihsan' and 'Ahsana' which means ''Excellence''. So whenever there is a 'Muhsinoon' mentioned it means a person who does what he or she does with utmost excellence in the best manner possible. Now, what does excellence has to do with Allah's mercy?

"Al-ihsaan" or "excellence" in the arabic language is procifency in performing an action, while perfecting it with sincerity. In Islaamic law, Al-Ihsaan is what the Prophet, salallahu 'alaihi wa salam, has explained in his statement: "That you worship Allah as though you see Him, but since you are un able to see Him, then He most certainly sees you." (taken from abdulrahman.org)

You see Ihsan plays an importance role in our life ;

- Worship : with regard to our worship, when we do it . How are we doing it? It is the first thing that we will be asked about on the day of resurrection. Did we do it with excellence, did we try to give it our best shot? Or were we of those who treated prayer like an obligation which needs to be done with in a short span of 2 minutes like the automated movements of our limbs. We need to ask ourselves, was our heart moved? Did we feel like we just prayed the best prayer of our life? IF we didn't then we need to bring Ihsan in our prayer . Prayer is a good deed that we are presenting to our Creator, The Lord, The King of everything, Imagine this would you if given an opportunity of meeting a king present him something in a shabby manner out of laziness? Subhanallah, then how can we do it here? When we start trying to present our salah in the best manner, it will be from the outside. Now we need to question our inside, how are we inside? are we praying in the best manner? Is our mind in the prayer or are we thinking of some TV show or some chore that needs to be taken care of after salah or are we thinking of tasks that we need to finish and accomplish and by the time we are done scrutinizing every detail of our life we reach to 'aameen'? When we go in sujood, we should praise, thank Allah, talk to him because at that moment we are the closest to him. We can talk to people for hours and hours yet when it comes to our creator we couldn't care less, Subhanallah it indeed is a sorry state that we are living in.

We need our hearts to full of Khushoo - The concentration. Think about the Qudsi Hadith about surah fatiha. According to Prophet SAWS - When a person prays Allah turns His face towards him, as long as his heart is in the prayer.

- Ihsan with people : No, Ihsan is not just a concept limited to worship in Islam. It extends to many branches of life. What does it mean 'Ihsan with people?' well in simple words, it means that we must NOT backbite about them, talk nice about them, make dua for them and love them for the sake of Allah.

- Ihsan with our life : Excellence in our life simply put is the way we go about conducting the daily affairs. The way we drink? Eat? How we dress? Our jobs? Taking care of our bodies? Our homes/ Our kids? the way we live, our etiquette.. Everything in our life should be in an excellent manner.

When we do everything in the best possible way, it will become a means for us to attain Allah's mercy.

2) Al quran - The more we follow the quran the more special mercy we get. We should apply in our lives what we learn from the quran.

3) Listening to Al Quran - Listening to the Quran attentively is also a means of obtaining the special mercy. When listening to Quran we need to listen with the presence of our heart unlike the quran being played in the house as a background score while we all are sitting and chatting our day away without a moment of reflection on what's being recited.

Al Araf verse 204 -So, when the Qur'an is recited, listen to it, and be silent that you may receive mercy. [i.e. during the compulsory congregational prayers when the Imam (of a mosque) is leading the prayer (except Surat Al-Fatiha), and also when he is delivering the Friday-prayer Khutbah]. [Tafsir At-Tabari,Vol.9, Pages 162-4]

4) Surah Noor verse 56 (3 ways of obtaining the mercy and included in this 1 ayah)- And perform As-Salat (Iqamat-as-Salat), and give Zakat and obey the Messenger (Muhammad ) that you may receive mercy (from Allah).

Prayer - When you really want that secial mercy from Allah through prayer then even the voluntary becomes easy. Remember, the beginnings are always tough. If we are not in the habit of praying then even praying mandatory prayers on time will seem as if moving the mountains of uhud. But once we keep up with the struggle and try to get better with each prayer. At one point we will reach to a stage whereby we will be like ''What just fard?! I wanna do the sunnah too'' Inshallah.

Shaytan is gonna try all the tricks up his sleeves to scare us because its like when we make plans, shaytan also makes plans. when we think to ourselves ''May be I should try to do all sunnah prayers today'' He starts planning of the things he can get us busy with and make us forgetful of our earlier plan. Simple way to get the mercy? Here you go :

1120. Ibn `Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said, "May Allah have mercy on a man who performs four Rak`ah before the `Asr prayer.''
[Abu Dawud and At-Tirmidhi].

Commentary: These four Rak`ah can be performed in two couplets also, as was the practice of the Prophet (PBUH), according to the preceding Hadith. It can be performed with one Taslim also. Both forms are correct and permissible. Some scholars are of the opinion that the former method is better. `Ulama' have stated that these four Sunnah of `Asr prayer are Ghair Mu'akkadah (optional prayers). Its importance is however evident from the fact that the Prophet (PBUH) prayed for mercy on those who performed these Sunnah.

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah may Allah be pleased with him, who said that the Messenger of Allah said: Allah - may His Majesty be exalted ! - said:

".......My servant draws not near to Me with anything more loved by Me than the religious duties I have enjoined upon him, and My servant continues to draw near to Me with supererogatory works so that I shall love him.

It was related by al-Bukhari.

Zakah- Although this is a mandatory obligation upon us it still is a means for us to obtain the special mercy of Allah.

Following the Messenger of Allah (saws) - we all say that we love the Muhammad (saws) but the problem comes for us when we have to extend our lip-service to limb service. Especially these days when everyone just wants to do the bare minimum, if you advise them on something they go like ''Is this written in the Quran?' or ''Is this fard?''. I mean, Quran states you need to take whatever the rasoolallah gives you and leave that which he has admonished you of. Subhanallah, I have met people who just are concerned with what is in the quran and when you talk about the sunnah they are completely against it. So yes, following the example of the best man (saws) ever to walk on the phase of this earth also becomes a mean for us to obtain the special rahma. And Alhamdulillah the sunnah way of life is documented and is easily accessible to those who which to acquire it.

5) Istighfar (seeking forgiveness) - He (saleh alayhis salama) said: "O my people! Why do you seek to hasten the evil (torment) before the good (Allah's Mercy)? Why seek you not the Forgiveness of Allah, that you may receive mercy?" Al Naml, verse 46

The more we seek istighfar not only are our sins forgiven we are also blessed with the special mercy.

Al-Imâm ibn al-Jawzi, may Allâh have mercy upon him, was once asked:

"Is it better for me to make tasbîh or to make istighfâr?" He replied, "The dirty robe is more in need

6) Taqwa - It is generally translated as ''Fear'' rather it means to have Allah's consciousness and being careful not to anger Him. Allah SWT says in Surah Hujurat in verse 10 ''The believers are nothing else than brothers (in Islamic religion). So make reconciliation between your brothers, and fear Allah, that you may receive mercy.''

7) Visiting the sick - 'Ali said, "I heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, 'No Muslim visits a Muslim in the morning without a thousand angels praying blessing on him until evening, or visits him in the evening without a thousand angels praying blessing on him until morning and he will have fruits in the Garden.'" [at-Tirmidhi]

8) Mercy in our hearts towards others - The way we show mercy to others, Allah SWT will show mercy to us. It is also very important for us as muslims to practice being merciful and kind because these are the qualities that attract people and we all have the obligation of inviting people to Islam.

Aboo Hurayrah narrated that the Messenger of Allah, salallahu 'alaihi wa salam, kissed Al-Hasan while Al-Aqra ibn Haabis at-Tameemee was sitting near him. A-Aqra said, "Indeed I have ten children and I have never kissed any of them." The Messenger of Allah looked at him and said, "Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy." [Saheeh al-Bukhaari, 426/10]

9) Dua - This is a shortcut for obtaining Allah SWT's mercy.

The above mentioned is a reminder for myself first of all. Remember to share the khayr. If there's anything in this post you benefit from it is from ALLAH and any errs and mistakes are my own.