Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Baby Steps

Life teaches us many Lessons and many times we trip over the same rock and despite getting our share of lessons, we still end up making the same mistakes. Like I mentioned in my previous post, it is the time for New Beginnings.

Today, I recieved my books for the Chartered Accountancy exam that I'm planning to give. And, MAN! Did they scare me?! They are 5 FAT books comprising of Fundamentals of Accounting, Merchantile Law, Quantitative Aptitude, General Economics and Model Papers. If i was actively studying for the past 2 years then these books may have seemed pretty normal to me. Unfortunately, I have not, so the very first sight of these books gave me jitters making me question my choice of resuming my studies after this long 2-year break. Perhaps, i should have just been the way i was.

Then, one deep breath. It is scary, I may even fail, But i am going to give my best shot. I promised myself to treat myself with love, commitment and doing things which are good for me. You know sometimes you eat a medicine even though you don't really like the taste of it? Yeah, well for me these New Beginnings are just like that. They scare me, make me feel that i am pretty incapable but I need to take these risks to bring the much needed change in my life so that 5 years later i don't look at my life and wonder ''Maybe i should have tried it''.

So, I have started taking my Baby Steps towards improving my life. And I know I am not really capable of doing all of it on my own. I am pretty sure I cannot do anything until I get some help from My Lord (swt)... and Inshaallah I hope I get it.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

To New Beginnings

This New beginning is not just 'cause 31st December is around the corner. It is because a part in me craves for a change from a long time now, things that I wish I could to do, tasks that I wanted to complete it's going to happen now all of this the coming few years.

They say it is never too late, so here i am giving one more shot at this life. Taking risks and trying to explore oppurtunities along with enriching my soul with the food of faith and spirituality. When i was away from my faith it felt as if everything is going okay and there's no particular need for me to conduct my 'soul search' until few events compelled me to rethink about my life and it's actual priorities. Things that really DO matter. It was one of those moments, where everything seems to be going in a frenzy and you just hold yourself, take a step back and see as to where You are heading, Your ambitions, Your goals, most importantly Your life.

The first thing i am keen on restarting is my studies. God willing, i will start studying again and make sure that I study the way I planned.

Second, would be my book. I have been wanting to author a book about my experiences with life and with the most special people in it, well even not-so-special people. So, that is going to be started once again (by once again i mean i have already started it but abandoned it in between) and this time i would not leave it until i complete it. This also makes me think that maybe i should enrol myself for one of those 'creative writing classes' or do something to imrpove my grammar and vocab a bit more. Suggestions are welcomed :)

Third, would be to start saving. I have finally realized that there's always going to be a situation in which i would not possibly think about saving rather i'd spend it all on that specific situtaion. So, now that i know it is always going to be like that i must get myself actively engaged in the habit of saving for a rainy day.

Fourth, improving my art skills. I am really not a good artist, When I say I am an artist I just mean that i can have fun with paints. And I am totally an insult to 'Representational Art'
Perhaps I should read more books on the techniques of coloring, sketching, shading and all that, eventually I will get some of that data processed in my head.

One important new beginning, is going to be the revival of faith and spirituality. This one is above all the goals the i've just written about. Afterall, how long am i actually going to live to fulfil all the other whims and desires? So, one step at a time. Inshaallah, I'll reach there someday.