Sunday, October 30, 2011

Does it Ever Stop Hurting?

Last Friday evening after crying for hours thinking about some sad and bad memories of life, I asked this question my sister and my best friend who was online to cheer me up;

''Does it ever stop hurting?'' - It is a question not just about one particular thing, its like sometimes for unknown reasons all the bad things that may have ever happened occur to you and in that moment you cannot help but just wonder. When?
It can be a friend who deserted you at the time of need, somebody you love wholeheartedly and they just were with you for their selfish reasons, some glare, a stare, a bitter comment and there's this thing about people - not just people actually : let me be specific - The thing about Bad People. When you open up to them well you just do a BIG mistake, they know what exactly to say to prick the memory which hurts you the most.

There are parts of each one of us in our lives that we wish we could the erase the memory of from our mind. Because they hurt, a lot. I have realized what really matters at the end of the day is that you learn and lesson and be careful next time. Not get hurt by the same thorn again. Yet, as human beings we have a tendency to run behind the things and people that hurt us, with few people consciously and with some subconsciously. Don't believe me?
I am sure there's one person in everyone's life who has hurt them yet they want to get past that hurt and have the old relation with that person back again because they value the person more than their own pain. And hey, I am not judging anyone here. Whatever works for anyone. Although, sometimes we should be careful because the another thing with human beings is that they can forgive others and their mistakes easily but man! do they have tough time forgiving their own selves and their own mistakes.

Anyhow, Did my friend answer my question? Yes, she did. It was realistic, it wasn't flowery that one day it will or with time it will. Because I'll tell you one thing and I can vouch for it, the theory of time heals everything does not work in cases where your heart was left in pain. It is what it is. The pain is veiled by the business of life, by the new people that walk in it but once there's a moment of loneliness the wind of past memories remove that veil and then you feel like your back to square one.
My friend she told me more or less something like this - ''It is not going to stop hurting until we are in Jannah, for some time in your life you will try to ignore it and will cover it up. But from time-to-time something will trigger the hurt again and the gate will be open for every bad memory of your life to cause you pain for that period of time. You ignore it again and move on''

I cried for hours chatting to her. And you know how righteous company and friends are given such a high value in Islam? I couldn't agree more to it. This friend of mine and even my sister (in islam) has always given me the advice that I won't really get from anyone else. She's been there for me all along, so she suggested that I stop chatting with her for sometime, pray my Isha prayer and get back to her. Then She suggested that I cry my heart out in front of Allah swt and talk to him in sujood about everything that bothers me. Basically, just pour my heart out.

I just did that, and I think I had the best salah of my life that night. The tranquility followed by that prayer was just unbeatable, explainable.

Indeed it is true when Allah swt says in the Quran When My servants ask thee concerning Me, I am indeed close (to them), I respond to the prayer of every supplicant when he calleth on Me”. (Al-Baqarah: 186).


  1. very profound, and excellent advice. I love the part abt crying to Allah,the world and evrything in it cant giv more peace...